Your journal prompts this week:
When I start a new project or set a new goal, how much value do I put on being able to act on it or achieve it quickly?
What are my personal expectations around the speed of my growth?
How might I benefit from slow growth?
How can I support myself in embracing slow growth?
The turtle moves slowly, and he doesn’t apologize for it. He just is who he is. Channel your inner turtle.
The stories we most often hear are the ones of quick growth and change. The person who woke up one day to a million followers on social media after one viral post. The person who hit six figures in their business in a matter of weeks from one product. The star who went undiscovered for years and suddenly gets their one big break. It can all change in an instant.
But for most of us, change and growth happens incrementally, little by little, and sometimes over a very long period of time.
Sadly, a lot of us lose patience before we ever get to the point we dreamed of or sought. Because we think if it was meant to happen, it would have already. We think if we wanted it enough, we would have already achieved more. We must not have what it takes. Luck must not be on our side.
And sometimes . . . when we are "lucky" enough to experience very fast growth, it might actually be too much too soon. We are unprepared. We burn out. We think that this path is perhaps not for us. We think can't handle it or it's too much or we're too much.
Is it possible that our collective glorification of quick growth might actually be what's stunting our growth? After all, it gives us a reason to fold too soon, a reason to say something just isn't for us or isn't meant to be.
Over the past year, I've been focused on embracing slow growth. And I didn't do this intentionally (though I wish I could say that, it would sound more impressive and make me seem like a much deeper human being). I was more forced into it.
I've realized that being a stay-at-home mom to a little one means I can't really do anything all that quickly, other than respond to my baby's needs. I can no longer work uninterrupted on my own projects or anyone else's for significant periods of time, so everything must happen in multiple, small chunks of time, spread out over days, weeks, or months.
This time of forced slow growth, looked at from another angle, could also be seen as restricted growth. And believe me, I saw it that way at first. It all felt so unfair. I resented watching others without children or who had older children or who had child care get their stuff done much more freely and seemingly with so much greater ease.
But after one full year of this forced slow-growth experiment, it turns out, it is one of the greatest gifts I've ever received from the universe. Every day, it teaches me patience. It reminds me of the importance of commitment and devotion. And there's something beautiful about seeing your vision or dreams unfold slowly over time. You truly see each step. You can celebrate each milestone. You get to fully see and appreciate each person who supports or helps you along the way.
I recently saw a post on social media about how we receive only what our nervous systems are capable of taking on at the time. When I think about what my nervous system has been through in my first year as a mother, I believe this to be true.
In my first year as a mom, I was not only learning to be a mom and rediscovering who I was, I was also juggling multiple clients, recording two podcasts, managing two Substack publications, and publishing about 2 meditations or audio courses per month on Insight Timer. And I was doing this all when my child was sleeping or when my husband could watch her. I was operating at maximum capacity.
This made me wonder exactly what would I have done if suddenly one of my podcasts or Substack publications took off at some amazing speed, drawing in hundreds or thousands of subscribers? What would I have done if I suddenly had thousands of followers on Insight Timer?
If I'm being honest, I would have been in no way prepared to handle it. I probably would have burned myself out and stepped away from it, thinking that was what was best for me.
When I picture myself in that quick-growth scenario, I feel incredibly grateful for the gift of slow growth, even if it isn't something people would normally brag about or share on social media. In 2023, I got exactly the growth I needed. It's the growth I need in order to keep me moving forward, trusting everything will continue to happen at the pace it's meant to—at the pace I need it to be in the moment.
The idea of slow, continued growth, while much less sexy, now seems cozy, comforting, and yes, even exciting. I get to fully witness every moment of growth. And I can stop putting pressure on myself to move at a speed that isn't sustainable.
This also highlights how important it is to spend our time and energy on what we really care about—because there’s only so much time and energy available to us. There are seasons in our lives, like early motherhood, when our capacity to take things on is limited. And one of the biggest realizations I've had in this slow growth process is that it is absolutely true that whenever we take something on that isn't the right fit for us or isn't aligned, there's a lot less room for what we really want to come in. And if we take on things that make it harder for us tend to or regulate our nervous systems on our own, that doesn't help either.
I've spent way too much time chasing what will not only bring me more money, but also more compliments and praise. And these were not necessarily things I enjoyed or even had the capacity or energy for, and they were brought in at the expense of the things I truly wanted to do. Over the last year, I've been challenging myself to release those things I don't really enjoy so I can make room for the projects I actually want to see grow.
Getting myself to let go of what I've been used to, of the pace that I was used to moving at, was scary at first. But the result is that I feel better. I feel lighter. Life feels easier and less tense. I can give myself permission now to go as slowly as I want.
I've decided that 2024 is officially a year of slow growth for me. It's intentional this time, not forced. And I look forward to seeing what comes next.
What would happen if you embraced slow growth? Have you already? This week's journal prompts will help you explore this more.
I welcome you to share your thoughts with me, as well as any insights you gain from your journaling, in the comments below. And if you feel the need for additional guidance and would like me to pull a Tarot or Oracle card for you, let me know in the comments, and I’ll respond with a card and message just for you.
With much love and gratitude,
Marcy
Permission to grow at your own pace