Your Inner Child Journal Prompts:
Reflect on the people who had both positive and negative influences on your life growing up. Notice their personal qualities and values and how your inner child responded to those.
Reflect on the games and activities you enjoyed as a child and how they shaped you. If play is how your inner child communicates best, what is it?
Journal about a memory from your childhood when you made a mistake and you felt bad about yourself. In particular, pay attention to the feelings in your body and what compassionate and kind words you could offer yourself to support yourself as you move through those feelings.
Journal on all the ways you offer kindness and compassion to others.
Reflect on all the ways you could extend this kindness and compassion to yourself on a daily basis.
Hello, Soul Journalers!
This week’s guest episode is all about the inner child, and the wonderful Lisa Parkes is our guest host and guide.
Lisa explains what inner child work is, how we can connect with our inner child, and the needs of the inner child. She also tells us her personal story with inner child work.
What Lisa shares in this episode resonates deeply with me. I know inner child work is something I could absolutely benefit from, especially as a mother now. I think this journaling practice from Lisa will certainly be helpful as I navigate all the triggers that arise when I’m managing toddler tantrums. And I hope you find these helpful too, as the inner child is often behind our most intense reactions and emotions.
Lisa’s journal prompts for this episode are inspired by cards she pulled from her card deck, the Smiley Thought Cards. I absolutely love how she incorporates cards into this practice.
Before we journal, Lisa will lead a short practice to connect to your inner child. I recommend having a photo of your younger self nearby and ready, but if that isn’t possible, simply picture yourself at a young age.
About Lisa
Lisa is a Spiritual Detective & Mentor who is passionate about journaling. When she’s not teaching journaling, she supports highly sensitive and neurodivergent students at her local college. She also makes journals and writes murder mystery books.
You can connect with Lisa on her Substack, The Intuitive Writer.
Hello! I’m Lisa.
Today I want to share with you my experience of inner child work and how meeting my inner child was the key to healing from childhood trauma. It was an amazing and life-changing experience that has been the road back to my true self. I want that for more people. Do you want that for yourself? I hope. I’m going to give you some inner child journal prompts so you can connect to that little person within.
Before we get started, let me introduce myself. I’m a Spiritual Detective & Mentor passionate about journaling. It’s one of the most powerful healing tools I’ve discovered (and believe me when I tell you I’ve left no stone unturned in this beautiful journey of self-discovery) whilst healing from childhood trauma. When I’m not teaching journaling, I support highly sensitive and neurodivergent students at my local college. I also make journals and write murder mystery books. I’d love for you to experience the beauty and power of journaling too.
What is your inner child?
Inner child work is an approach to healing and recognises that our behaviours as an adult stem from our childhood experiences. Inner child work focuses on addressing our unmet needs by reparenting ourselves. This kind of self-discovery helps us understand our behaviours, triggers, wants, and needs.
Your inner child is a powerful presence. See her as an energy that lives inside of you. She loves to play and create. She holds your intuition - the part of you that knows who to trust and what feels right for you before your mind knows it. She also holds your unmet needs and your unexpressed hurts. She may see the world through the lens of fear and confusion because this was familiar to her growing up. This is especially true for us if we grew up in dysfunctional, chaotic homes or have difficult relationships with our parents and families of origin.
For example, the way you show up in relationships, how you deal with conflict, stress and how you treat yourself all comes from your inner child. Our self-talk actually comes from internalised voices of our primary caregivers. So if we had gentle and nurturing caregivers, this is how we will speak to and treat ourselves. On the other hand, if we had a punitive, cold and belittling caregivers, this is how we speak to and treat ourselves.
Despite some of the teachings online, you cannot distract yourself with positive thoughts or manifest your way out of childhood trauma. Believe me, I’ve tried! The more you deny it or push this energy that lives inside of you away, the more it tries to get your attention.
How to meet your inner child
This is my inner child. Meet Little Lisa.
Every day, I walk past this photo and stop to ask, “How you doing sweet girl?” I tell her I love her and that she’s doing great! I tell her I’m proud of her and ask her if she needs anything. She doesn’t always know. So, I reassure her that’s okay. I sit with her a bit longer and drink my tea. I smile, meet her gaze and I just get really curious. I wait patiently…eventually she does tell me. Sometimes, it’s not words but tears or sensations in her body that want me to listen. And I do!
I intentionally chose this picture because my Mum cut my hair. This 7 year old part of me holds the pain of not feeling good enough, of unworthiness, of wrongness, of ugliness, of guilt and fear. She believes that if you get too close to her, you will see how terrible she really is and you won’t like her. I like her though and that’s all that matters. I repeatedly tell her how much, and I promise her I will never leave her.
How I met my inner child
Interestingly, I met her during the 10 years I worked with children. She was carrying so much pain alone. She was putting on a brave face and just wanted to make other people happy.
I would spend hours in 1:1s and workshops listening to their stories and teaching them creative ways to overcome their struggles. Overtime, I realised that they were like little healers holding up a mirror to the younger parts of me that were frozen in time or lost. I ended up writing my inner child’s story in my first book, Stuck Between Two Worlds which was a very liberating and healing experience.
Before I met my inner child, I was drinking and smoking excessively to try and soothe that unaddressed pain within. For me, my inner child can show up as a ball of anger in my stomach. Other times she is a panicky and scared, with a racing mind that she can’t switch off. She also can show up as literally feeling small or powerless. The best way to start to notice when your inner child is present is when you’re having an intense emotional reaction (the opposite to a considered response) which is disproportionate to the situation in the present moment. We call this an emotional flashback.
“Emotional Flashbacks are sudden and often prolonged regressions (amygdala hijackings) to the frightening circumstances of childhood. They are typically experienced as intense and confusing episodes of fear and / or despair - or as sorrowful and / or enraged reactions to this fear and despair. Emotional flashbacks are especially painful because the inner critic typically overlays them with toxic shame, inhibiting the individual from seeking comfort and support, isolating him in an overwhelming and humiliating sense of defectiveness. Because most emotional flashbacks do not have a visual or memory component them, the triggered individual rarely realises that she is re-experiencing a traumatic time from childhood.”
—Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
What does your inner child need?
Your inner child needs you to be the nurturing adult you didn’t have and that you deserved growing up. Your inner child is thirsty for compassion, empathy, and a safe adult who is attuned to your emotional needs. Your inner child needs to know that all your feelings are welcome and needs you to respond with compassion and kindness to whatever she is struggling with in the moment.
The key is to not judge yourself. Literally say to yourself our loud: “All my feelings are welcome.” Stay open and curious instead of jumping into judgement.
Other inner child needs
This is my approach and healing toolkit that I teach in my work. The inner child also needs to:
get comfortable about how you really feel and what you really need.
feel heard and validated by telling your story (or the parts she chooses to share from her perspective) to a safe adult.
learn practical strategies for self-soothing when your inner child is activated (this is also often referred to as being triggered or having those emotional flashbacks).
learn a simple framework for developing your emotional literacy so you can fully express and process your feelings. This includes labelling your feelings and being able to identify how you experience them in your body.
understand how the damaging dynamics of dysfunctional families impact you growing up which includes rewriting your blueprint for loving, healthy relationships and how to protect yourself from negative energy and tricky personalities (boundaries).
How to connect to the energy of your inner child
Today we are going to journal together and see if we can meet some of your inner child needs.
First of all we need to connect to the energy of your inner child. I invite you to join me. I do this by settling myself into a safe space with a photo of my inner child. I look into her eyes and steady my energy by taking some deep breaths until I feel grounded in my body. Don’t get too caught up on if you’re doing it right or wrong, just be in the moment with your inner child for as long as you can. If it gets uncomfortable you can always come out of that space. You don’t have to stay there. You can always take yourself out of it. If you do it for the first time, you might want to do that with somebody you rust. Often people will choose their therapist.
Journal Prompts
Today’s journal prompts come from my deck of Smiley Thought Cards which I made during that all important decade I worked with highly sensitive and neurodivergent children. I was called The Smiley Coach! The cards are brightly coloured and child-like which helps you connect to that energy. The deck is made up of forty beautifully illustrated cards which are split into 4 different types. There are rainbows for positivity, purple stars for confidence, sunbursts for encouragement, and hearts for love. We’re going to choose one card from each type. Are you ready?
JOURNAL PROMPT 1 - Everyone Crosses Your Path for a Reason
Reflect on the people who had a both positive and negative influences on your life growing up. Notice their personal qualities and values and how your inner child responded to those.
On the flip side of this card the message is: Seek out like-minded people to hang out with. Be brave and introduce yourself with a smile.
Reflect on the people who had both positive and negative influences on your life growing up. Notice their personal qualities and values and how your inner child responded to those.
JOURNAL PROMPT 2 - I have a great imagination
Reflect on the games and activities you enjoyed as a child and how they shaped you. If play is how your inner child communicates best, what is it they are trying to express to you whilst playing these games and activities.
On the flip side of this card the message is: Trust your brain to work its magic. It is happy daydreaming. Have fun getting lots in your thoughts.
Reflect on the games and activities you enjoyed as a child and how they shaped you. If play is how your inner child communicates best, what is it?
JOURNAL PROMPT 3 - I learn from my mistakes
Journal about a memory from your childhood when you made a mistake and you felt bad about yourself. In particular pay attention to the feelings in your body and what compassionate and kind words you could offer yourself, to support yourself, as you move through those feelings.
On the flip side of this card the message is: Swap the word mistake to learning. Life teaches us what we need to grow.
Journal about a memory from your childhood when you made a mistake and you felt bad about yourself. In particular, pay attention to the feelings in your body and what compassionate and kind words you could offer yourself to support yourself as you move through those feelings.
JOURNAL PROMPT 4 - I am gentle with myself and others
Journal on all the ways you offer kindness and compassion to others. Reflect on all the ways you could extend the same kindness and compassion to yourself on a daily basis.
On the flip side of this card the message is: Take your time and be patient with yourself. You can do anything, not everything.
Journal on all the ways you offer kindness and compassion to others. Reflect on all the ways you could extend this kindness and compassion to yourself on a daily basis.
Thank you so much for being here today. It’s been wonderful to share this experience with you. I hope you found it helpful. I’d like to finish by wishing your inner child love, health and happiness as your inner child learns they are safe now, and you are here to take good care of them.
More healing resources for your inner child:
Smiley Thought Cards by Lisa Parkes https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1196841134/inner-child-oracle-cards-smiley-thought
Stuck Between Two Worlds by Lisa Parkes
Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self by Lucia Capacchione
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Recovery-Your-Inner-Child-Liberating/dp/0671701355
Thank you again so much to Lisa for being on the podcast, and I hope that you enjoy reconnecting with your inner child with these journal prompts.
We’d love to hear from you. What thoughts, feelings, and stories did this episode bring up for you?
And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with anyone else who could benefit from it.
With much love and gratitude,
Marcy
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