Capricorn, the Devil, & an Overachiever

Explore the energy of Capricorn & the Devil Tarot card

Jan 12, 2025

∙ Paid

In February 2019, I found myself sitting on the cold, rough carpeted floor of the office I worked in, gasping and sobbing. My chest was tight, my palms sweaty, my fingers tingling as if they had fallen asleep—all familiar feelings to me. I knew exactly what was happening, and yet I couldn’t stop it.

When I first sensed the panic attack coming on, I hid myself in a bathroom stall, trying to swallow and squash down the internal primal scream that was trying to move like a wave through my body. But when I returned to my desk and tried working again like nothing was happening, I just couldn’t. It made it worse. It made it more uncontrollable.

Our office was small and only three other people were in the office with me that day—my boss and two of my coworkers. They tried their best to comfort me and help me ride it out, bringing me tissues and water. They told me to go home, but it was our busiest time (right before our annual conference), and I had so much to do that I didn’t think I could afford go home. After all, I was panicking over the fact that I didn’t think I could get it all done. What had given me the final push down the slide of panic had been an interaction with a remote coworker, requesting I redo something I had already spent hours on because she didn’t like how one little thing about it looked.

I very frequently butted heads with this demanding and perfectionistic coworker. But to be fair, she was critical about everyone’s work most of the time, but I didn’t—and still don’t—handle criticism all that well. A snippy remark or poorly delivered suggestion from her could get me even on a good day. And I also didn’t know how to tell her NO.

My coworker volunteered to take over the project that had pushed me over the edge. I gave in and went home, ashamed it had all gotten to me, ashamed that after three years of working there, I still hadn’t been able to please my picky coworker, and I had to admit defeat.

But there was another important piece contributing to my emotional state that I wasn’t acknowledging: My dad had passed away less than two months prior, and I took very little time off after his passing. I felt I was okay, and honestly, I thought I couldn’t afford to do it during my busiest work season. I thought the stress to catch up from the time off would be worse. Plus, my dad, the hardworking Capricorn, would have wanted me not to be sad and get back to business, right?

Me with my dad during my college years, holding the stuffed Jiminy Cricket he traveled far to get for me when I was a kid.

It wasn’t until a couple weeks later, after making it to that work conference and getting quite sick in the thick of it (and STILL working through it), that I realized how little time I had given myself to rest and process. I cared so much about my work and how I appeared that I ignored my own needs.

I had tried to overachieve my way through grief.

I have always been an overachiever, and this work conference we put on every year was no exception—I wanted everything I touched to be perfect and 100% free of criticism.

But then I also wanted to feel (and seem) like I was perfect at overcoming grief and getting right back to life. I wanted everyone to say I didn’t miss a beat, that they hardly even noticed I was going through anything.

In short, I didn’t want my grief to damage my reputation as a hard worker.

Looking back, there are so many things I would’ve done differently. But I had to learn from that experience. I had to learn that my ambition, drive, and overachieving ways wouldn’t protect me from feeling pain, whether it was the sting of loss or the sting of criticism.

So what does this story have to do with Capricorn and the Devil (besides my dad being a Capricorn)? Let’s dive into the themes of these two and why they are connected.

Featured Devil cards in order of appearance: The Cozy Witch Tarot by Amanda Lovelace, The Journey Tarot by Cassie Uhl, The Light Seer’s Tarot by Chris-Anne, Mystic Mondays Tarot by Grace Duong, Moon Void Tarot by Stefanie Caponi. All different interpretations here, with most putting an emphasis on the internal struggle with the Devil and the shadow self. Even though the Cozy Witch’s imagery points more to an external force, the author’s description does challenge you to ask whether you are being a toxic witch to yourself.

Capricorn & The Devil Card

Capricorns tend to be known as driven and determined when it comes to going after their goals or dreams. They are, to me, the ultimate hard worker. But there is a darker side to this, when taken too far. This drive and ambition can lead to an obsession with status and reputation and a desire to overachieve in all you do.

Capricorn is associated with the Devil card in Tarot, and this card calls on us to confront our shadows, to acknowledge those things that tempt us and lead us off our paths. This can be those mindsets, thought patterns, habits, and behaviors that hold us back or keep us stuck, yet we just can’t help ourselves. And overachieving, becoming obsessed with success and how others view us—this is all part of our dance with the Devil within.

And for me, this all came to the surface that day of the panic attack at the office, and then again at that work conference. I cared more about how others viewed me than I did about myself and my own healing. And the funny thing is that I was really just trying to protect myself from feeling the hurt and pain in the only way I knew how.

The Devil card was one of my cards of the year for 2024, and so I was able to experience it on a deeper level. (Learn what your care of the year is here.) While it might seem like the Devil card is negative, one of those cards you should cringe at when you pull it in a reading, I understand now that it is actually quite powerful in bringing about positive change.

The Devil brings us important lessons. It allows us to see our shadow selves and to learn to love and care for them in the way they truly need to be loved and cared for. Last year, it helped me see my fully flawed self and love her—and I continue to feel that influence as I grow into my role as a parent.

So as we enter the last part of Capricorn season (approximately December 21- January 20), I invite you to explore this energy for yourself with this month’s meditative journaling series.

Oh, and one last funny note about my personal story: Not only was my dad a Capricorn, but that difficult coworker I never managed to play nice with? She’s a Capricorn. So it is fitting that her behavior mirrored the ways I often spoke to myself and my inner critic—that little Devil within!

Journaling with Astrology & Tarot: Capricorn & the Devil Card

Each Astrological sign is linked with a Tarot card in the Major Arcana. Their themes and messages reinforce each other, helping us to work more intentionally with the energy of each sign and season. For Capricorn, that card is the Devil, which reminds us that while it is great to be ambitious and go after our goals and dreams, it is important to pursue them in a way that is aligned with our values and that doesn’t compromise our personal peace and fulfillment.

It’s important for us to balance our drive and determination with rest, and to ensure our achievements align with where we really want to go, not where everyone else wants us to be.

The three meditative journaling sessions in this series focus on:

Ambition: Our relationship to it and the areas where to tend to be more or less ambitious
Self-sabotage: How we tend to self-sabotage when working toward a major goal, desire, or dream and how we can shift that behavior
Managing Expectations: How we manage our own high expectations and the expectations of others

How to work with this series

The course is designed to be completed over three days, but you can choose to take it at whatever pace you’d like. In these audio sessions, I read the journaling prompts and you journal along with me for about two minutes on each prompt, while music plays in the background. Each session has a total of four journal prompts. If you are unable to listen to the audio, the journal prompts are also listed below.

This series is for paid subscribers of the Soul Journaling Sessions. If you are a paid subscriber and would like additional insight on what you can learn from the themes of Capricorn & the Devil, I’d be happy to pull a Tarot or Oracle card for you. Just leave a note in the comments letting me know you’d like a reading, and I’ll pull a card for you!

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