Hello from the girl who "tries too hard."
Journal prompts to help you love the parts of you that are "too much" for others.
Your journal prompts for this week:
What aspect(s) of myself or my personality have been viewed as "too much" by others? Or, what behaviors or quirks have I been told I need to "dial down" in order to make others more comfortable?
What aspects of myself do I personally think are "too much" and why?
How is my too-muchness a part of my greater story? How did it help me get where I am today?
How can I begin to honor my too-muchness and see it as one of my greatest strengths?
Soul Journaling Sessions is becoming a PODCAST! Play the audio above to listen to this essay & journal along with me. Next week you will receive the podcast in your email, plus the full text and journal prompts, similar to how it is now.
“Shhh... you’re talking so loud!”
"You talk a lot and really fast. Slow down!"
“Everyone thinks you're a little sensitive. You’re taking things too personally.”
“I like Marcy, but she tries a little too hard.”
“Marcy’s perfectionism often yields an emotional crisis unnecessary to the high school environment.”
Have you ever been told that you're "too much" in some aspect? I definitely have, and the above statements have all been said to me or about me at some point in my life. Some of these are direct quotes and some of these are general sentiments that have been expressed to me multiple times in many situations. So it's no surprise that over time, I learned to be embarrassed of my too-muchness. I spent a lot of time trying to fix or hide away these supposedly weak or awkward aspects of myself. Stop being too loud. Too animated. Too sensitive. Too invested. Too intense.
For a couple of years now, I’ve been working on embracing these aspects of myself as part of my story, rather than always feeling ashamed of them. Those statements I listed above don't have to just be cringe-worthy critiques of my personality flaws. I have the ability to see them from another perspective, if I choose to.
When I step back and look at the bigger picture or greater story of my life, I see that I have been able to build stronger connections with people because of my too-muchness. I've also seen it take my creations to the next level. My specific areas of too-muchness are also reflections of my best qualities.
When I’m too loud or saying too much too fast, it’s because I’m excited and want to share. I grew up with three older siblings, and to have my voice be heard, I needed to speak up and get out what I needed to say quickly before someone interrupted me or stopped paying attention. As an adult, I turn up the volume so the right people can hear me. And sometimes, when I'm in the right environment and start to build momentum, I talk a little bit louder and faster.
When I’m too sensitive, it’s because I feel deeply. I feel the weight of how poorly we sometimes treat each other and ourselves, and that propels me to want to help all of us overcome the hurt and pain that causes us to act in certain ways.
When I’m trying too hard, it’s because I care deeply about the connection I’m trying to build, and I want others to see and understand how important it is to me.
When I’m too perfectionistic, it’s because I love the creations I send out into the world . . . even the ones I don't particularly enjoy making. Regardless of what I am creating, I want the people who most need these creations and their messages to find them. (Yes, being a perfectionist can be to my own detriment too, but if I keep my focus on the message and who needs to hear it, I can push past the little hang ups that could prevent me from releasing the creations out into the world.)
I find that each of these aspects of myself make up a part of my story, and they ultimately help me share my story and messages with others.
So yeah, I’m sometimes “too much” to some people, but aren’t we all in some way? What makes one person uncomfortable might not even be noticeable to others, and the ones who don't notice or even love our too-muchness--those are the people we're meant to be around.
When it comes to being "too much," the real challenge or call to action is not to fix yourself, but to love yourself. To use your too-muchness for the good of yourself and those around you.
I definitely still struggle with the initial sting of embarrassment when I realize I might be “too much” in a given moment, but it's a lot easier to recover and remind myself that it's okay to be who I am, and the right people will appreciate me, flaws and all.
What’s your too-muchness? How do you use it to empower yourself and others?
As always, feel free to share your insights with me.
Talk to you again next week, and happy journaling!