Running on the hamster wheel of busyness

Worshipping Busyness

Your Journal Prompts for This Week:

How do you respond mentally and physically when life gets hectic or busy?

Where in your life do you sometimes feel too busy, and how do you navigate that?

What does the phrase "I'm too busy" mean to you? Consider both when you say it and when someone else says it to you.

I will never forget when my therapist my senior year in college said to me, "I'm concerned about what you'll do after you graduate, when you no longer have grades to measure yourself by."

My first thought was something along the lines of, "Well of course it will be all about the jobs and the money they pay me. That's the whole point of obsessing about the grades. Good grades = better jobs = more money = lifelong security."

Yikes.

When I started my own business this year, I thought that I was finally leaving behind these old, tired ideas of success and at last seeing my true worth. But of course, it wasn't quite that simple.

I've always been drawn to the expression, "Wherever you go, there you are." I found this expression to be true when I realized that even with my own business, I was measuring my worth outside of myself. This time, I was measuring my worth by how busy I was. More offerings = more clients & projects = more money = lifelong security. I assumed that being busy was proof that I was "in demand" and people needed me. I was taught to find the problem my customers have and solve it, so if my calendar was full with people who wanted what I had to offer, then clearly I had found success.

In many ways, busyness has been the underlying current this whole time: First I was busy studying to get the grades and land the perfect job, then busy climbing the corporate ladder, then busy getting the clients and projects. 

This all became so much more clear to me after I read the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. She describes how she devoted many years of her career to being busy, to being the responsible one, to proving her worth to other people. It resonated so deeply with me. I thought that I was on the hamster wheel that is corporate America, but really, I was on the hamster wheel of busyness. 

As we approach what can be a busy time of year, I invite you to explore busyness in your own life: how does it show up and what does it mean to you? I also find it really interesting to explore how we feel when someone else says "I'm just so busy" to us. There can be so many thoughts, assumptions, and feelings there to unpack!

For my creatives and content creators reading this now, I also pose a question to you: When was the last time you created something just to create, just for your own joy and satisfaction? I know for me it has been far too long. I encourage you to create something just for you, just for fun. Consider it a present to yourself.

With much love & gratitude,
Marcy

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