So, there was a cockroach in my bedroom...
Fear, A Familiar Friend
Yeah, you read that subject line right and yes, I am going somewhere with this story, I promise!
A couple weeks ago, we were sitting in bed in our new apartment, and I saw something on the floor out of the corner of my eye. Since we'd already seen a couple in our apartment, I knew instantly what it was, screamed, and jumped out the other side of the bed (fortunately my husband moved fast enough for me to get out too, since he knew what that scream meant)! It was a cockroach, a creature I haven't had much experience with until moving to Southern California. And yes, I am terrified of them.
There's now a well-known issue with cockroaches in the sewer beneath our neighborhood, and I find myself on high alert every time I enter a new room. I turn on all the lights, look in all the corners, and anytime I even so much as feel my hair brush against my shoulder, I jump. I keep trying to understand the logic behind me doing this. A part of me seems to think that if I am looking all the time, I can't be caught off guard, and then maybe another one won't appear. Or I'll at least be able to avoid that terrifying moment of realization that one is far too close to me for comfort.
I was listening to a meditation on Insight Timer by Sarah Blondin. In it, she describes some of this reasoning, this desire to "keep our worries in plain sight" so there will be less of a chance of them coming true. But, as she points out, this leads us to living in the very feeling or place we want to avoid. That one spoke to me...perhaps it rings true for you too?
So this week, I invite you to explore your fears. What are you trying so hard to avoid, and how might it be impacting your daily life?
Where in my life am I on lookout or high alert?
What would it look & feel like if I began to release my grip on this?
How can I support & comfort myself as I work through this?
As far as what's coming up for classes, I'm working on a lot of different things! One is a trial run of an embodied group reading, in which I use Tarot and/or Oracle cards to help me theme Yoga & Journaling classes for a specific group. You can read more about that and join the waitlist on my website.
I'm also exploring creating free mini-classes that correspond to these weekly journal prompts. If there are any themes you'd like to explore in practice, please email me and let me know! (Oh, and tips to keep cockroaches out of your apartment are also welcome, in case you're familiar with this issue, haha!)
I'd love to hear any insights you gain from your journaling. Hit reply on this email or DM me on Instagram (@themysticalfarrey).
With much love & gratitude,
Marcy